


Serein

by najaeri



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Drama & Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/najaeri/pseuds/najaeri
Summary: Wonho leaves South Korea and his best friend, Kihyun, goes after him.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho & Lee Minhyuk, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Serein

“Shownu?” he heard him calling his nickname, but he wasn’t really paying any attention. His eyes were lost in the dream. 

A dream called Yoo Kihyun.

The only bad thing about that dream is that it was unreachable - it was impossible. There was no way he was able to love him as freely as he wanted. 

“Hyunwoo,” this time, he said his name as a statement. It felt more personal and real, but he didn’t want to talk. 

He heard his best friend sigh, his devotion still far from everyone in the room. 

Not even the small hand on top of his shoulder could make him come back to Earth.

“He's out,” said Minhyuk, a heavier sigh coming out from his mouth. “And I am mentally exhausted.” 

“I know,” replied Hyungwon, taking Minhyuk’s hands into his. “How are you coping?” 

“I don’t know,” sincerely responded the latter.

He truly didn’t know and seeing his best friend like this wasn’t helping either. He truly wished something could be done to mend their broken hearts, but there was nothing. The solitude embracing them like a dance in the night. As bad as it sounded, it was crumbles - shattered to pieces.

Both left for different reasons.

Wonho left because he thought he was incapable of loving. No matter how much Minhyuk went after him and reassured every day how valuable he was for him and how impossible it was going to be living without him, he was focused on his own feelings. Others would consider him selfish, but Minhyuk didn’t - he really didn’t. 

Every person copes with their own pain differently.

And the love of his life left him to seek himself.

He understood - he truly did. But it hurt. It hurt so much he was barely breathing and the fire within him was consuming him alive.

He missed him to the point of no return and he was sure that Shownu must be feeling the same way.  
Kihyun left after him - not because he loved Shownu less, but because Wonho was his best friend and he would have done the same. 

The only thing that broke Shownu the most was that he never knew. He was never aware of how much Shownu loved Kihyun. It wasn’t a hidden secret, but they always say that when feelings aren’t reciprocated, it makes you blind. 

And such, Kihyun has never been able to see behind Shownu’s goofy smile.

He never saw how much deep inside Shownu loved him.

“He always calls,” said Hyungwon, knowing he took Minhyuk out of his train of thought. “You’ll give him updates.” 

“But should I?” answered the golden-haired man. 

“If I were closer to him, I would do it on your behalf,” admitted Hyungwon, hearing a third sigh coming out from his friend’s mouth. He was saying the truth; he wasn’t close to them as he was close to Shownu and Minhyuk. They were acquaintances and went out together from time to time, but they didn’t share their secrets or intimacy. 

“I know,” was Minhyuk’s response, looking for the last time at Shownu. “I’ll be back,” was all he said before leaving the room to get some air.

Hyungwon sadly looked at Shownu - he hoped his pain would alleviate soon.

+++

Kihyun was in a restaurant somewhere on the other side of the world. He almost died when Wonho told him where he was after days of pounding his phone. He spent more than 26 hours traveling, but when he saw his best friend having a panic attack in the shower, he knew he had made the right choice. 

After the crisis ended and two weeks after, he was becoming better. He was hurting, he was coping with himself, but he was alive and that’s all that matters. He considered Wonho to be a strong man and capable of trust. He needed a push sometimes, like every other human, but that’s why he was here.

To make him understand that it is okay to be selfish from time to time.

“I’m not really hungry,” said Wonho, sitting down after his bathroom break. 

“You need to eat,” was Kihyun’s answer and the other nodded. “And I want you to take at least 6 bites.”

“Isn’t that too much?” asked Wonho, mostly trying to get away with it, but he knew it was a lost fight.

“No, that’s actually too little for your muscles,” replied Kihyun and the other smiled.

The youngest smiled in return.

He really liked seeing him like this - carefree and happy. Goofy around his people and always willing to give love. 

If Wonho could only understand that there’s more in this life than just love, perhaps he could entitle and be with Minhyuk. But he was making things difficult - more than they already were.

“I don’t know if I should lose some,” confessed Wonho, waiting for the waitress to come. “And I don’t even know if I should have come this far.” 

“It was necessary,” replied Kihyun, drinking a bit of water. “But I do agree it is too far.” 

“I… just wanted somewhere far from everyone,” was his response, but he didn’t expect his best friend’s answer.

“Busan or Jeju would have been enough,” he continued. “You came to Peru. You don’t even know Spanish. What is wrong with you?” 

Wonho bitterly laughed. He had to agree - he took it too far. But what to do when you aren’t thinking straight? What do you do when you are unable to feel anything?

“It’s hard to not judge - but, Wonho…” Kihyun took a deep breath to continue, knowing the other won’t like his opinion. “I am here instead.” 

And he knew. He exactly knew what he was thinking and he felt guilty. He has never told anyone about his true feelings, but unconsciously, Wonho was aware. Kihyun could lie to everyone - even to himself, but not to his best friend. He could see deeper than his facade. 

But it wasn’t up to him to let the world know what he felt. That was something he needed to dare to do first. 

“And do not apologize,” said Kihyun - knowing what the other was thinking. “I did it because you are everything to me. We have known each other for over 10 years, how could I have left you alone in your despair? That’s not what friends do,” he continued. “But the fact that you have been running away for these last couple of years does irritate me.” 

“I don’t know how to love,” he confessed - although for Kihyun it was more than that. 

“Same old excuse,” was the other’s response, but at the same time, he was trying to provoke him. He wanted the other to admit what he truly felt. 

“When Changkyun left me for Jooheon, it broke me,” he continued, not knowing if this was the appropriate time to finally release what he felt. “He left me at the altar.” 

Kihyun looked at the plate in front of him, knowing when it exactly happened. He was there - he was the best man and he saw the worst betrayal his memory could process. He saw how Wonho cried, he saw how Wonho destroyed himself in the gym. He exercised 8 hours a day, neglecting his job and without rest. He got bigger, he looked more handsome - but it was a lie.

He was suffering.

It didn’t hurt less than Jooheon was his brother.

Not even a month into the disaster, Changkyun married Jooheon. Wonho’s parents were divided, but Wonho was the greater person - he always told them to never choose between their children and that eventually, he would be fine.

And he was.

He scarred but he could never be successful in any relationship. Everything was a failure - just like him. 

“And there’s something I never told you,” he confessed for the first time, knowing Kihyun’s eyes were on top of him.

“Minhyuk was Jooheon’s fiancee,” and Kihyun swallowed a gasp. 

“We casually met the day he left me,” he continued. “In my desperation running after him, I saw a silhouette crying,” he half-smiled, the story becoming harder to explain. “He was aware of what was happening, but he acted differently - he never followed Jooheon. He knew that the man he loved decided to go somewhere else with a person that wasn’t him. He was hurting, but he accepted it - not like me.” 

“He was the one who stopped me, consoled me and held me in his arms,” Wonho sighed. “In his own pain, he tried to bring me the solace I needed and he continued to be by my side while I never understood why. I thought he would be mad at me - I was the husband-to-be of the person his fiancee ran away with. Maybe he thought I was a bad person, perhaps his thinking was that it was my fault, but he always told me it was their decision and we did our best to be what we could be.” 

“But he asked me to not say anything about our encounter to anyone, that’s why I kept my silence close to my heart. As time passed, I fell in love and I swear to the Earth itself that I love him, Kihyun - I do, I truly do…” 

“But tell me, what do I do?” he said with tears covering his eyes. “What do I do when I see his smile and I remember Changkyun? What do I do when I see his laugh and I remember Changkyun? What do I do when all I can remember is Minhyuk in Jooheon’s arms?” 

Kihyun sighed. 

He never scarred - he was still holding onto the impossible. He was still healing. After three years, he wasn’t able to move forward.

“I don’t know,” sincerely answered Kihyun. “But if you don’t let go, you will lose him.” 

“I know and that’s what hurts me the most,” replied Wonho, the first set of tears caressing his cheeks. “It hurts me to know that due to my indecision, I will lose the second most important person in my life.” 

“I can’t change it, Hoseok,” he called him by his real name, prompting him to cry more. “The only one who can do something about it is you.” 

“You have to let go of your insecurities - you have to understand that Minhyuk’s not the same as Changkyun or Jooheon, he is his own persona,” began Kihyun. “I’m not saying he will be perfect, he is a human just like any of us. It won’t always be happiness; you will also experience grief and sadness, but that’s the beauty of a relationship. If you cannot have the whole package, what’s the point?” 

“What if he leaves me?” he whispered, his sobs becoming harder to control. “What if he does the same?” 

“That’s why you need to prepare yourself,” answered the youngest. “Even though he might be different, it may happen - we would never know unless you try it. You need to open your heart and let him know how much you love him, how much you care. He has waited you long enough, Wonho - he is valuable, but you won’t know until you dare.” 

“Just like you are doing with Shownu once you come back?” he murmured again, his eyes connecting with his best friend and he saw a small smile.

He knew what that meant.

“Just like I would do when I go back.” 

+++

Two weeks.

Two weeks have passed and Shownu knows nothing about Kihyun.

Was he worried sick? Yes. Did he want to kill him? Yes. Did he miss him? Absolutely.

But the most important thing he wanted to know was if he was okay. That’s all that mattered to him. He just wanted to be able to breathe properly without thinking the worst. He just wanted to be able to concentrate better without going into panic mode every five minutes. It wasn’t hard to ask, but from the looks of it, Kihyun wasn’t caring about how he felt back in South Korea.

He didn’t even have the slightest idea of where in the world he was. 

“Hey,” said Hyungwon, sitting beside him. Shownu gave him a small smile while mouthed a small thank you for the Iced Americano.

“Minhyuk is on his way,” he announced, taking a sip of his green tea. “Any news?”

Shownu denied with his head, taking a slurp from his drink. 

“Not even from Wonho?” 

Shownu denied it again.

“Hmmm,” was all Hyungwon could say. He had no words to describe how selfish he deemed them both to be. However, that was his perspective - he did not know their stories. 

He barely knew Shownu’s. They met each other a couple of years ago and Minhyuk was recently added to become a trio.

The irony is that Wonho introduced them. 

That’s why he could never understand the man. Why did he think that ignoring his feelings and being stuck in the past would help the situation better? From what Shownu told him, the separation between his brother, ex-fiancee and himself was like a Korean drama, but he was very optimistic. He had a similar situation and he was fine. He even had someone by his side again.  
Even though he understood every person was different, he had to admit he was judgmental. If he could become a better person and be able to love again, why couldn't Wonho?

He also could not understand why Shownu has hidden his feelings throughout these years.

Kihyun was not predictable - he personally knew him a bit more than he knew Wonho, but not enough to decipher him. He was still figuring him out. He saw the treatment between Shownu and the other and it always seemed like something else. It was deeper than anything he has ever seen in his twenty-seven years of life. 

Why were they denying it? Why was it so hard to confess?

Hyungwon sighed and was about to talk when he heard a chair being pulled beside him. 

It was Minhyuk.

He looked great with that orange hair. He knew that he wanted to change it, but didn’t think it would be this soon.

“Hey,” he smiled, but it didn’t sit well with them; prompting Shownu to talk.

“What happened?” 

“Wow, that was fast,” said the jokester, the server coming to bring him the Iced Caramel Latte he wanted. “Was it that obvious?” 

“Yeah,” both said at the same time.

Minhyuk sighed. “I got a job in Japan. I am moving in two weeks.” 

“Was that the one you told me about a year ago?” asked Hyungwon and Minhyuk nodded. 

“Are you running away?” asked Shownu, which made Minhyuk chuckle, but he responded to both questions.

“Yes - same one,” he told the tallest. “And no, I am not.” 

“If I were, I would have disappeared a long time ago,” confessed the man. “I would have left the same day Wonho decided to hide from his feelings.”

Touché.

Shownu just looked at his plain black iced coffee. He really wanted to say a lot of things, but he knew it was better if he kept it to himself. After all, there was no point in expressing what he felt deep inside him. It wasn’t going to make a difference - he would still hurt.

And Kihyun wasn’t going to come back.

“Oh?” exclaimed Hyungwon, his cell phone vibrating at the table. He stood in silence for a couple of seconds, not knowing how to tell them who was actually calling.

“Hello?” he briefly said after answering the phone, the other two engaging in a silent conversation. 

“You are back?” he whispered, but it was loud enough to grab the attention of the other two.

“With Wonho?” and that was the key Minhyuk needed to drop his iced coffee to the floor.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up,” he continued, Minhyuk’s teary eyes making its presence while Shownu had a blank face, but he knew better - he was shocked.

It was way too fast for them to come back. 

“You want me to call Minhyuk and Shownu?” he repeated, earning surprising looks from the other two. “Okay, I will. See you in a bit,” was his farewell, a faint but warm smile appearing on his lips.

“They are both here, so let’s go,” he said while standing up. Shownu immediately mimicked him, but saw that Minhyuk just stood there, without doing anything.

“Minhyuk?” called him the tallest one of the three. 

“I can’t…” he whispered, his sweaty hands playing with each other.

“No, you have to,” said Hyungwon, grabbing his arm and making him stand up. “For better or for worse, you have to tell him.”

“No,” insisted Minhyuk, the first set of tears falling down. “I can’t.”

“Minhyuk,” called him Shownu. “We both need to go. For better or for worse, this needs to end. We cannot continue to hide our feelings or to keep waiting for the future to come. We simply can’t - it might hurt us; we might suffer, but we will move on.”

“I’m leaving for Japan, how---” 

“If he’s for you, Minhyuk - he will go. He doesn’t have anything left here,” continued Shownu. “And if he doesn’t, then you deserve to move on. Just like I need to.” 

Hyungwon looked at the oldest of the three. “Are you going to let him know?”

Shownu nodded. “It has been too long… He doesn’t feel the same, this might ruin our relationship, but these two weeks have taught me a lot and I need to do it before I become a coward again. I am sure he won’t accept my feelings, but at least… after five years… I tried. I can say for once that I tried.” 

The tallest guy smiled at him. “Let’s all go and I’ll be there to catch you both.”

+++

After a quick walk and Minhyuk’s breakdown, they finally arrived at the destined gate. Wonho was in shorts and a plain shirt, while Kihyun was well-dressed in a bottomed red shirt, dark brown pants and red boots that matched his shirt. The contrast was interesting to see, but for the other three wasn’t surprising - it was the way they saw them every day.

But when Shownu was approaching Kihyun, he immediately flew to his arms. He opened his eyes in disbelief but gladly accepted the embrace, engulfing him on his chest. He heard Kihyun’s long breathe and he wondered was happening. But he didn’t want to spoil the moment - he wanted to keep him there, forever.

“I… missed you…” he heard Kihyun whispering and he smiled.

He missed him too.

But he wasn’t good with words - he was better with actions. 

Although he didn’t know how Kihyun would react if he tried to do something stupid, like kissing him senselessly. 

To his surprise, he didn’t need to do anything. The younger one grabbed his neck and kissed him there, in front of thousands of people without any reason.

Shownu wasn’t going to think it twice - they could talk about it later.

The oldest surrounded his waist and put him closer to his chest, deepening the kiss between them. It didn’t last for a long time, but it was enough for them to stop it and for both to whisper the same words they were dreading to say five years ago.

“I love you,” they said at the same time, followed by the biggest and brightest smile they have ever seen in each other, while Hyungwon smiled at both pairings.

“Y’all are so stupid,” he said, crossing his arms. “And here I was thinking about the possible suffering. The one that’s going to suffer is me for being forever alone.”


End file.
